I’m not suggesting you need to turn into a bitch. Or that everyone’s attracted to bitchy people. I’m saying that in the grand scale of things, someone being at least a bit more self-interested is way more magnetic than being a people-pleaser.
Somewhere along the way you learnt that people-pleasing was a way to avoid conflict, a way to keep the emotionally unstable people in your life calm, or a way to win over people who were inconsistent with you. And frequently it was all at your expense.
I’m sorry to say that this is not usually the path to the relationship of your dreams. But when you’ve not known anything different, giving less can look uncaring, or it can feel unsafe.
But there is a middle ground. And if you’re burnt out, insecure or unfulfilled, I would like to offer you the alternative.
Come and join me at my next online workshop.