Someone taught you that you could only be loved and safe by putting others first. By supporting them with their problems, even if those problems hurt you. Even if your support of them cost you.
Lost time, lost care, lost money, lost relationships with other people. Lost happiness.
Every time we do something for others whilst ignoring our own needs, like overgiving, saying yes even when you’ve got no fuel left in your own tank, when it’s at your expense. When it doesn’t feel good.
This is self-abandoning. This is putting someone else’s seatbelt on before securing your own.
Someone along the way taught you that to ever take your own needs seriously was selfish, made you a bad person, and you were punished for it any time you accidentally did something that they didn’t like or didn’t centre them.
Self-abandoning kept you alive and got you here. And that’s more than okay. But once it’s outrun its usefulness, it can turn into a lifelong, very expensive and disappointing pattern.
Are you ready to stop repeating old patterns in relationships and start building something new? If yes, I’ve got something for you.
Come and join me at my next online workshop.
